Self-Care for Moms: It Hasn’t Always Looked Like This
When my kids were little, we lived in the sweetest little Cape Cod home on a tree-lined street in the heart of town. It was charming and chaotic, full of baby toys and laundry piles, and smack dab in a season where “me time” felt like a luxury I couldn’t afford.
Just up the street lived an incredible woman who ran an in-home childcare service two days a week. She was older, wiser, and one of those grounded, salt-of-the-earth mothers who immediately put you at ease. She became my lifeline. For a small fee—one that honestly felt like a splurge at the time—I would leave my babies in her care and catch my breath.
And when I say “catch my breath,” I mean going to the grocery store alone. That was my vacation.
The Productivity Trap: When Your Worth Feels Tied to Doing
Back then, I was a stay-at-home mom. And somewhere deep inside, I believed that because I wasn’t “earning,” I didn’t deserve to spend money on support—or time away from my kids. I carried a heavy load of guilt, thinking that rest had to be earned. That my value was in being constantly available, constantly productive.
I see now how deeply rooted those beliefs were.
Looking back, I’m amazed at what I accepted as “normal.” Like thinking a quiet grocery run was extravagant. Or believing that a hot shower without interruption was indulgent.
A Breaking Point—and a Breakthrough
After the birth of my third baby at 39, something shifted. Or rather, something broke—in a good way.
Like so many of us, the pandemic reshuffled everything. Post-lockdown, as the world cautiously reopened, I realized how much I needed to not be needed for a moment. I booked a local hotel using our Marriott Bonvoy points (pro tip: if you don’t have a Bonvoy card yet, this is your sign). It wasn’t fancy, just a Fairfield Inn.
I packed a yoga mat, a bottle of bubbles, some takeout sushi, and a stack of spa goodies. I streamed a yoga class, binged shows in a fluffy robe, and slept through the night with no one needing anything from me.
It felt radical. Healing. Necessary.
Soul-O Travel: Embracing Bigger Seasons of Self-Care
These days, I go a little bigger. In 2023, I started what my therapist affectionately calls “Soul-O Vacations.” And this year? No exception.
My husband, Mike, booked me a three-night stay at my favorite beachfront resort in Fort Lauderdale. I brought beach novels and journals, ordered room service, did a little vision mapping, and watched all the rom-coms. I even skipped the beach (too chilly) for the pool and called it divine.
And here’s the truth: I felt zero guilt.
Instead, I felt rested. Replenished. Reconnected with myself.
And I know not every mom has access to a beachside hotel and childcare support. That’s why it’s important to say this clearly:
Self-Care for Moms Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
If you’re reading this in a season where even one hour a week feels hard to carve out—please hear me:
You still deserve rest.
Whether it’s a 10-minute meditation before the kids wake up, a walk around the block while your partner handles bedtime, or a weekend retreat you save up for all year—self-care is not selfish. It’s essential.
Your worth has never been tied to productivity.
It’s okay to take breaks. To unplug. To ask for help. To breathe.
Even if the only thing you do today is daydream about your own Soul-O Vacation—know that you’re planting seeds of possibility. And I’ll be here cheering you on.
xx,
Kelly